i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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