What a fucking waste of an outfit
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
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You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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