Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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