i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
