im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
