69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i've created a new STD.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
