Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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