I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
