Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
