I want to have your abortion
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
