My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
