I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
