Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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