I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I need to calm my uterus...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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