WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
