Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
