If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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