Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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