Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
