I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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