bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
