upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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