I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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