Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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