We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
