A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
