if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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