I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
