I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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