did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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