it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
