Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
