i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
