I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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