He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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