Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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