i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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