You just made me feel so damn special
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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