i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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