So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
