Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
