I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
