oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
