She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
