And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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