so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
