I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
