Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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