He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize