It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
