porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize