you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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