2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
