Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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