I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
