Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize