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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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