You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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