remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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