Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
