You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
