and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You need Xanax blowdarts
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
