yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
