I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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