I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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