You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
