what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
