Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm both gender and math confused
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
