never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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